Things They Should Tell You In College...

I know, I know -- they told us to study hard, do well on exams, show up early and stay late, work hard, network harder... and all our dreams of Jaguars and mansions and vacations to Tahiti will inevitably be ours. It was just that simple.

Except that they lied. I don't particularly remember who THEY even were anymore... was it our parents? Our professors? The schlubby marketing director we interned for that one summer (by interned for, I mean, fetched coffee for in blinding rain storms)? I'm only a few years into the whole "young professional" gig and I'll be honest... there's some stuff I wish they would have told me back then without the pretty layer of frosting on top that they so deceivingly distracted me with.  

And if I could go back and tell the doe-eyed college seniors who think they're about to become the next Oprah a few things, here is what I'd say - because the fact of the matter is, they need to hear it.

1) Business Attire is Overrated - sure, you'll feel flashy and oh-so-adult-like the first time you done the pinstripes and briefcase. You'll walk with a little extra confidence that day, showing all the higher-ups that you know how to dress the part. And then, 2 months down the road, you will find that the mere thought of buttoning your blazer or having to suck it in while you yank up your pantyhose... kind of makes you want to leap out of a plane. Minus parachute. But this realization and hatred are healthy - because realizing that the suit isn't going to get you to the next level? Is precisely the moment you realize that hard work and a strong mind, will.

2) There is No Such Thing as 40 hours - whether you love what you do or despise it, the 40-hour week is a myth (so are bankers-hours now that the economy is in the crapper). Some weeks you might actually do 25 hours of work, true (also, lucky), but rest assured that the following week, you will make that up two-fold. You will miss breakfast, lunch and dinner at some point. You will miss the big game and you will forgo a Friday night to get a big deal done. And all of this is much less to bear if you don't completely hate your job, which leads me to #3.

3) If You Don't Love It, Don't Do It - not for any longer than you have to anyway. That BS about needing to be at a job for 2 years so that your resume looks better - is just that, BS. If you have the goods, the character, the drive... someone will want you, regardless of how long you've been at your current company. And you will inevitably hate your job at some point - this is life. You change, your interests and passions change - and so your job changes is most cases. There's nothing productive about counting the hours to Friday night at 6 a.m. on Monday, and there aren't enough happy hours in the world to take the edge off of working for an absolute schmuck that you can't stomach for more than 30 second intervals. You get one ride on this merry-go-round called life -- so if you don't love it, don't be afraid to seek out something that you do.

4) Fail. Epically. - not intentionally or anything. But it's going to happen at some point - you'll miss a deadline. Or lose a deal. Or start a small fire in the office somehow. Whatever. No great success has ever come without a hiccup along the way. And you can't go through your whole career simply avoiding failure - people who avoid failure will usually settle for mediocrity just because it's a notch above the bottom. People who want to experience wild success or love of what they do - fail. They keep their minds open and learn from it. And then they go back at it until they succeed.

5) The Office?  Looks a lot like High School. - there are jocks and pretty girls. Nerdy IT guys. it's like the movie "Clueless", but Audis and conference rooms replace the sports coupes and classrooms. My advice? Don't be the same bitchy cheerleader or wallflower theatre geek you once were.  This time, be kind to everyone (you really never know when you might need to call in a favor, TRUST ME), help people when you think you're too busy, carry your weight to get good grades (in the corporate world, this usually equates to a raise, Score!), and speak up. Realize that the quality of your work and your character mean more to the company than what kind of bag you're carrying or car you're driving. This little gem? Is invaluable to your success.

6) Make Waves - Have a voice. It's always a rat race for the next big deal, the next promotion. it's SO easy to be trampled by the competition, both internally and externally. When you do something well (and you will), take credit. When you fuck up (you'll do this too), take responsibility. If your boss or coworker is treating you like crap, ask for a meeting and let him or her know what's on your mind. Admittedly, it's almost harder to take credit for something good than it is to apologize for something negative. Practice saying "thank you," or "I'm proud of how things turned out; I worked very hard." No one is going to spend their days championing your next raise for the fun of it. The sooner you own your career and its path, the sooner you can start making those waves and enjoying the ride.

Basically, I could write a book of the stuff I wish they'd told me - but today, this is what was weighing on my mind, so.. there it is. If you've got one to add, leave me a comment; I'll address them all with my take.  And if you've got a kid - make them read it.  Seriously!

*kisses*